Gaining Self Confidence To Succeed In Anything

Where does self confidence come from? How do I go about gaining self confidence? Why don’t I have it? The answer to all of these simple questions can be found in one simple word, “YOU.” Self confidence starts with you, your perception of yourself, and what other people think about your actions or behavior. It is amazing how our perception of ourselves can affect our ability to perform in different areas of our lives.

As a result many people go through life being just a shadow of the person they are capable of becoming. To achieve self confidence, not only is it important to change your perceptions of yourself, but also be willing to take repeated action in the area in which you lack confidence. These 4 simple steps will help you to build self confidence and achieve success in any area of your life.

Gaining Self confidence in 4 easy steps

Be willing to change your belief system

Much of what we think about ourselves and about life, stems from what we were taught or experienced growing up. This could be anything from us always being last in the 100m sprints, or being unable to catch the basketball in high school, to us being told that we have a big nose or “knocked knees.” We internalize these and began thinking of ourselves as being clumsy or not good enough to being ugly. For many of us, these thoughts and beliefs never change, and so we go through life with these faulty beliefs about ourselves, buried deep within our subconscious mind.

If you struggle with Self confidence you need to start changing how you perceive yourself. If you were always told you are a loser and have believed it all these years you have to let go of that, and believe that having lost at some things, does not make you a loser. Start believing in yourself; replace all those negative thoughts you hold about you, with some positive ones; start flooding your mind with some good thoughts about yourself. One way of doing this is with daily Affirmations to remind you of your capabilities. Understand that since you have taken all these years to get to where you are now, it will take some time to undo all the damage that has been done. You must be willing to commit to this and practice it daily until you gradually replace the old thoughts. Do this and you will be on your way to gaining self confidence.

Accept that you do not lack self confidence in every area of your life

The first thing we need to understand is that self confidence is usually related to a specific situation, and that we do not normally lack self confidence in every area of our lives. We must also understand that not everyone that appears self confident to us is confident in everything they do. A person can be comfortable speaking to strangers but have a huge fear of public speaking. Put them on the stage and they get all tongue-tied and start sweating bullets. A lack of confidence in Public Speaking in this instance, does not make that person into someone that lacks self confidence. And so if we can make that mental shift in the way we see self-confidence, we would be well on our way to dealing with a lack of confidence when it arises in any area of our lives.

Let’s look more closely at the person who lacks self confidence in Public speaking. Almost everything we have done so far in our lives has been learnt. We learn to walk, talk, use the computer, play a sport etc. We get better at doing it as we continue to practice. As we get better at it, we become more confident in doing it. After doing it for a while we are able to do it without thinking about it; we no longer become anxious and hyperventilate when we have to do it. If we therefore want to gain confidence in Public Speaking, or anything for that matter, we need to first learn how to do it and practice it over and over. The question is, do you believe you can learn it? This takes us to the next point.

Believe you have the capacity to learn anything

Let’s think for a moment about all that you have learnt up to this point in your life. You were born only knowing how to cry and flay your hands and feet, now look at all you can do with your body, not to mention your mind. Your brain is considered more powerful than the most powerful computers around; do you still think you cannot learn public speaking or anything for that matter? Once again, this will require a mind shift. If all your life you allowed your thoughts of you to limit your ability to do or achieve anything, it is now time to change that. Look back at your life, what have you been telling yourself you cannot achieve?

I told myself for years that I was a klutz with the computer. This prevented me from even attempting to learn anything on the computer. I developed a block towards it and had such a fear of trying things for fear of causing a disaster. As for social media, it was only in the last 2 years that my daughter finally decided to create an account on Facebook for me. I soon changed my mindset about the computer; If a 3 year old could learn to use it, then there is a possibility that I could too. My perspective of it changed. I no longer saw it as something to be intimidated by, but instead, I began to see it as a very useful and powerful tool, that is very user-friendly. So much so, that I now have an online business. Who would have thought…? This goes to show that a belief in your ability to learn something, will help to boost your self confidence in anything.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

As a young teenager I was a member of a Gospel Band in my hometown. I knew I had a great voice and could sing anything. Others also told me this over and over again. That did not however remove the nervousness prior to a performance. I have also heard numerous Singers and Actors say the same thing, and it made me realize that being self confident does not always mean you will be confortable in the situation. Instead it means, being able to perform despite being uncomfortable. So do not be discouraged if you know your stuff, you’ve practiced but still feel some discomfort. Understand that being uncomfortable is a part of the process, and push on.

Take Action Now

As with anything else, “if nothing changes, nothing changes.” You cannot continue to do the same things and expect different results. Gaining self confidence in any area, requires that you must take action. You cannot sit around and do nothing and expect that one-day self confidence is going to just magically seize you, and you miraculously become confident. You must act and not continue to avoid the issue, especially if this is negatively impacting your life.

Taking positive action will help you to overcome your fears and boost your self confidence. A simple way to do this is by taking on small challenges. You have allowed your brain to associate certain events or actions with fear, so you’ve already pre-empted the outcome of these situations. By taking a small step towards conquering this, you’ll find that the result is most likely not as bad as you think. In fact, you’ll probably be surprised at how good you feel and your self confidence will instantly improve. Let’s use our example of Public Speaking; how about researching the Toastmasters Clubs in your area and visiting a few of them?

When you’ve completed your first small challenge, congratulate yourself on achieving your first step. A small reward can often help. You’re already on the right path to improving your self confidence, so you’re ready to take it to the next level. You may decide to become a member; then give your Icebreaker speech and continue to take small steps until you develop confidence in this area.

Remember, gaining self confidence is a process; it takes time. Sometimes it may appear as if you are not making progress, but stick with it and continue working. Steadily increase the risks you’re willing to take to build your self confidence to where you want it to be. Fear prevents us from taking risks and so the perceived risk of something bad happening as a result of your actions, is usually the biggest barrier to self-confidence. Follow these few short steps and watch your self-confidence grow.